Spotting a cowboy marketing agency
You can tell a cowboy builder by the cash-only deposit, the van with no name on it and the quote on the back of a fag packet. Cowboy marketing agencies have their own tells, and they are just as reliable once you know them. Here are twelve, grouped by when you are likely to meet them, plus the question to ask that makes each one squirm.
Before you have spoken to them
Some of the warning signs show up before any conversation. They are in how the agency found you and what its own shop window looks like.
- They cold-called you, or messaged you on Facebook, claiming to have 'noticed your website' or 'found some problems with your Google listing'. Agencies with enough happy clients do not need to cold-call plumbers.
- Their own website has no address, no named people and no company number. If they will not say who they are, do not pay them.
- Their case studies have no names, no towns and no numbers: 'a roofing client saw huge growth'. Real results have a firm attached to them.
- Their Google reviews are all five stars, all posted in the same fortnight, all from accounts with one review. You know what that looks like because you have seen it done to a competitor.
During the sales call
The call is where most cowboys give themselves away, usually because they are reading from a script and you are not.
- They guarantee a page one ranking, a number of leads or a position in the map. Nobody controls Google. Anyone promising they do is either lying or planning to measure something meaningless.
- They have not looked at your business. If the person on the phone cannot tell you how many reviews you have or what your listing says, they have not done ten minutes of homework and the pitch is the same one they gave the carpet fitter yesterday.
- They create urgency: a price that ends Friday, a 'slot' in your area about to go to a competitor, a discount for signing today. Real agencies have waiting lists, not countdown clocks.
- They dodge the question 'who exactly will be doing the work?'. If the answer is vague, the work is being farmed out.
In the contract
This is where the expensive damage is done. Read the whole thing, including the bit in small type about what happens when you leave.
- A long minimum term. Six months is defensible for SEO because it genuinely takes time. Twelve or twenty-four months with no exit is a trap, especially for a one-van firm.
- The website is theirs, not yours. Look for who owns the domain, who owns the hosting and whether you can take the site with you. A 'pay monthly website' that disappears when you stop paying is a rental dressed up as an asset. Our comparison of agencies that build before you pay explains what the fair version of this looks like.
- Ad spend and management fee are blended into one number. You should always know exactly how much of your money goes to Google or Facebook and how much goes to the agency. If they will not split it, assume the split is not in your favour.
- Automatic renewal with a notice period you would need a diary to hit.
The twelve, in one place
| Tell | What it usually means | Question to ask |
|---|---|---|
| Cold call or cold DM | They need clients more than you need them | How did you get my number? |
| No address, names or company number | Nobody to hold accountable | Who is the director and where are you registered? |
| Anonymous case studies | Results may be invented or borrowed | Can I speak to that client? |
| Suspicious reviews | Reputation is manufactured | Which of these reviewers can I ring? |
| Guaranteed rankings or leads | They are measuring something you do not care about | Guaranteed by whom, and what happens if you miss? |
| No homework on your business | Scripted pitch | How many reviews do I currently have? |
| Deadline pressure | They do not want you comparing | What changes if I decide next month? |
| Vague about who does the work | Outsourced or junior | Can I meet the person building my site? |
| 12 to 24 month lock-in | They expect you to want to leave | Why do you need me locked in if it works? |
| You do not own the site or domain | Hostage situation in waiting | If I leave, what do I take with me? |
| Blended ad spend and fees | Their cut is hidden | How much of my £500 reaches Google? |
| Auto-renewal with tight notice | Trap by paperwork | Show me the clause about ending it |
Tells that are not tells
A few things worry tradesmen that should not. A small agency, even one bloke, is not a red flag; some of the best trades agencies are founder-run. Charging a fixed monthly fee is not a red flag; it is often the fairest model. Asking for three months to show SEO results is not a red flag; it is honest.
And being based 200 miles away is not a red flag for online work. The person doing your Google listing does not need to be in your town. They need to understand your trade.
The reference check nobody does
Ask for two current clients in a similar trade and ring them. Not email, ring. Ask how long they have been with the agency, what they pay, what they get, and whether they would sign again. Five minutes each. If the agency cannot produce two clients willing to take a call, that is your answer.
You would not hire a subbie without asking around. Hold an agency to the same standard.
What to do if you are already in one
Find the contract and read the exit clause. Diarise the notice date. Before you give notice, secure your own assets: make sure the domain is registered to you, export any customer data, download your photos and copy, and set up your own Google Business Profile access as the primary owner if the agency has it.
Then give notice in writing, by email, and keep the email. Most cowboy agencies fold the moment a client clearly knows their rights. Some will offer a sudden discount. Take the discount only if you were happy with the work and the problem was purely the contract.
Once you are out, do the free groundwork yourself before hiring anyone else. Our guide to the seven things to do before paying any agency will put you in a far stronger position next time, and our UK tradesmen marketing agency rankings give you names to compare rather than whoever rang you first.
Frequently asked questions
Is a long contract always a red flag?
Six months for SEO is reasonable because results take time. Twelve months or more with no exit, especially for a sole trader, is a warning sign.
Should I own my website and domain?
Yes. The domain should be registered in your name and you should be able to take the site with you. If the agency owns either, you are renting, and the site vanishes when you stop paying.
Can an agency guarantee page one on Google?
No. Nobody controls Google's results. An agency promising guaranteed rankings or lead numbers is either misleading you or measuring something that does not matter.
What is the single best check before signing?
Ring two of their current clients in a similar trade and ask what they pay, what they get and whether they would sign again.
Is a one-person agency risky?
Not in itself. Many good trades agencies are founder-run. Judge them on transparency, ownership terms and references, not headcount.